Sarah's Corner
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Love makes me exist

Sets you most rich in youth before my sight, 
Where wasteful Time debateth with Decay, 
To change your day of youth to sullied night;
And, all in war with Time for love of you, 
As he takes from you, I engraft you new.

~ William Shakespeare (Sonnet 15)


I don't know exactly when this happened. It feels like centuries ago?

I had never ever been struck like this before. Everything came so sweet and sudden. It started when a face first boomed behind the whispering trees. HE was my oldest younger brother. (I have three younger brothers.) 

We landed in a hauntingly beautiful place, dazzling with shining butterflies. 

In the overflowing, crawling, sea-green breeze, I saw lot of guests. They were dining upon honey, shiny glasses and fresh exotic food. When I looked far, I saw dark purple velvet curtains hung below the pale moon. Then a blue butterfly came near and she started enlarging. Suddenly, my eyes start traveling through her translucent wing. I was so sure that I got a glimpse of Heaven. 

The moon grew pale and cut in layers through the shaking leaves. With the back-up of a stream of radiance from the midnight sky and a touch of the flashy red lights, Time had stopped. 

I stood next to my brother, holding his hand that was unusually light. His skin was slightly pale, yet his cheeks were pink like a baby's. He seemed eternally young. His features were so refined. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. My heart burnt when I looked into his eyes. For the first time, I understood the danger of loving someone too much. 

We wandered between guests. We were drowning into the laughing, the drinking and the endless conversations. The glasses were hitting each other like a song. The silks were caressing each other like dancing. The wind moved in a smooth rhythm.

Later, we came near to a mirror generously adorned with crystals and colorful stones. Carelessly, I looked into it, and stopped in shock. There was only ME in the mirror. 

Had I been hallucinating all my life? My brother didn't exist in this world. 

An extreme pain thrust into my whole body, hitting every nerve. I couldn't stop shaking. My ankles became fragile and I fell with both of my ankles hitting the hard ground. I felt my bones were crushed. 

Tears rushed down my face. I couldn't speak. With the last bit of my strength, my eyes poured out these words? (We spoke in silent voice. I thought that was the way we always communicated.) I said: Even though you don't exist, you know that I LOVE YOU, right? 

Then he looked at me with those softest eyes. He said: Love makes me exist. 

While I was still overcome by grief, his body cut into little stars. They made Heaven so shimmering and fine. From then on, I was in love with night. 

A soft female voice came from the black clouds. She said: Are you OK? I replied in a slow trembling voice: I....m....OK?

I was awakened when I barely pronounced the high-pitched O. 

I realized it was a dream. However I couldn't immediately adjust myself to the reality. The grief was still too overwhelming. I felt my heart stopped. I couldn't breathe for a while. 

When I finally collected myself, I realized I had learnt in one sentence the greatest truth one could ever comprehend: Love makes me exist!



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